Please don’t give up on me. When the world is healed and all this lockdown and isolation is over, I’m going to find it hard to step out of my cave and face the world again. I’m going to have to learn to socialise again.
My depression will be feeding me lies continuously that you are better of without me, that I don’t deserve your care, that I have no worth.
Please tell me that when all of this is over, you won’t have forgotten about me. You won’t have moved on to pastures new and left me behind. Please don’t go just as I get you back.
I am so so so fearful that when we can finally see each other again, you will have left. I’ll never get the goodbyes. I’ll never get to tell you how much you meant to me.
I’m worried that you will have new routines, new friends, new goals and projects. That you will see me as the prepandemic person, with no place in your future.
I can’t see a way of life ever returning to what it once was. You will all have moved on, all learnt to live without me. I’m so terrified at the thought of losing everything that I spent so long to build up around me.
If there is one thing that life has taught me so far, it’s that nothing lasts forever, everyone leaves, I’m disposable, im not worth your time and you will always be better than me in every way.
Please please please say you will be there for me when I take my first steps into the scary new world waiting for us…. V
Shrink(ing) Violet 