Its hard to write when you feel like an empty shell, when you feel like nothing you say has any benefit to yourself or others. Over the last 6 months I have been surviving. Like most people, Covid has put a stop to most of my activities and socializing. You could happily erase April 2020 …
Tag Archives: Anxiety
Why Covid life is giving a glimpse into the world of Derealisation
We are all living in this new world of Covid. A life in which, for some, time has no meaning, days come and go, the world feels muted. Depersonalisation and derealisation, for me at least, feels alot like this. I wake in the morning not knowing what day it is, or month. I wake and …
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Abandoned
That’s how I feel right now. It’s the story of my life. People either abandon me or treat me so badly that I have to escape. Image by artist- Sow Ay My family, though remaining physically close, abandoned me emotionally so many times that I can’t be myself around them. I can’t turn to them …
I can’t trust my memories
He told me today that he was surprised that I stayed in an abusive relationship for so long. He said he thought I was stronger than that. That I would have spoken up sooner. Of course I put him in his place about the nature of abusive relationships, and I educated him on the reasons …
Help me…
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on for. How much longer I can fight the demon inside my head. The last few weeks I have been plagued by images of my dad in that hospital bed. How long will this keep happening? How many more times do I have to relive those …
What’s real?
When will the nightmares end? Every night I am plagued by the most heart wrenching dreams. They are so real that in the morning I have to check certain things to convince myself they aren’t real. Nightmares are just another way the inner critic tries to convince us that we are no good. That everything …
Dear friends…
Please don’t give up on me. When the world is healed and all this lockdown and isolation is over, I’m going to find it hard to step out of my cave and face the world again. I’m going to have to learn to socialise again. My depression will be feeding me lies continuously that you …
Universe, you suck!
I thought this lock down would provide me with plenty of time to catch up on college work. Remember the time I said that the universe seems to throw hurdles in the way, well, its back at it again. Ive struggled for the last few days to muster any kind of motivation to do my …
1st try at a poem. Cause the world’s gone to shit and I can’t sleep….
I lay here motionless, Staring at the cornerWhere the ceiling meets the wallsThe clock has long since waved the witching hour goodbye My eyes are heavy from the exhaustion of another dayMy mind, ticking tocking,the mechanics that keep my eyes from closing The rest I crave will not arriveI’ve tried and triedThe medicine won’t let …
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Protected: Hey Ironman. It’s me…
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Shrink(ing) Violet 
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