I don’t know how much longer I can hold on for. How much longer I can fight the demon inside my head. The last few weeks I have been plagued by images of my dad in that hospital bed. How long will this keep happening? How many more times do I have to relive those …
Tag Archives: cut
The angry side of grief
Warning. This contains profanities for which I’m not apologetic. It’s been a year.One really long, short year. A year I didn’t think I would survive. A year I didn’t want to survive. The last 24th of May, I was in benidorm, in a whirlwind of emotion, caught in the grips of sudden grief. I can …
Please come home…
I watched a film today, about a boy who got separated from his family. He spent years tracking down his mother when he was older. It was a lovely film, called Lion. Why am I talking about films you ask?It made me realise something. Something that I’m not sure many people would say out loud. …
Universe, you suck!
I thought this lock down would provide me with plenty of time to catch up on college work. Remember the time I said that the universe seems to throw hurdles in the way, well, its back at it again. Ive struggled for the last few days to muster any kind of motivation to do my …
1st try at a poem. Cause the world’s gone to shit and I can’t sleep….
I lay here motionless, Staring at the cornerWhere the ceiling meets the wallsThe clock has long since waved the witching hour goodbye My eyes are heavy from the exhaustion of another dayMy mind, ticking tocking,the mechanics that keep my eyes from closing The rest I crave will not arriveI’ve tried and triedThe medicine won’t let …
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Dissociation and the emergency services. It needs to change!
I’m not quite sure what to share and what not to share today. I made this blog to help get the thoughts out of my head. I’m torn between being totally honest, sharing the darkest moments and making the blog factual in terms of living with mental illness from a less personal place. I’ll just …
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How bad is bad enough? An insight to baby cut syndrome.
I caved. I gave in to my current greatest urge last night. I just needed to stop the constant thoughts spiraling in my head. I figured if I just do it then it will quieten down. I decided at around 4pm that I was going to do it. I dropped my daughter off with her …
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My addiction is taboo…
*TRIGGER WARNING for self harm, suicide, drugs and alcohol*********** If you need help in the UK contact the Samaritans on 116 123. Self injury is symbiotic with depression for myself. Its the way I’ve learnt to cope with stress, anxiety, low mood or apathy. I can’t remember the first time I intentionally harmed myself but …
Shrink(ing) Violet 