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Tag Archives: Grieving
Help me…
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on for. How much longer I can fight the demon inside my head. The last few weeks I have been plagued by images of my dad in that hospital bed. How long will this keep happening? How many more times do I have to relive those …
The angry side of grief
Warning. This contains profanities for which I’m not apologetic. It’s been a year.One really long, short year. A year I didn’t think I would survive. A year I didn’t want to survive. The last 24th of May, I was in benidorm, in a whirlwind of emotion, caught in the grips of sudden grief. I can …
Please come home…
I watched a film today, about a boy who got separated from his family. He spent years tracking down his mother when he was older. It was a lovely film, called Lion. Why am I talking about films you ask?It made me realise something. Something that I’m not sure many people would say out loud. …
Dear friends…
Please don’t give up on me. When the world is healed and all this lockdown and isolation is over, I’m going to find it hard to step out of my cave and face the world again. I’m going to have to learn to socialise again. My depression will be feeding me lies continuously that you …
Protected: Hey Ironman. It’s me…
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Grief, loss and isolation
Once you have known the pain of a deep loss, I think it becomes easier to access it. Any future losses feel harder, the pain feels more accessible. It’s somewhere you have ventured before. It’s like trying to navigate to an old friends house. Somewhere you vaguely remember, until you drive closer and things become …
Emotionally numb
I think I’m broken. My cousin died on saturday morning, I helped my abusive uncle deal with suicidal thoughts, and I’m just not feeling anything. I’m calm while everyone around me is devastated. I’m not sure if it’s the increased medication that’s numbing my feelings or if I’ve taken myself away to that space where …
Two wrongs don’t make a right?
What am I? Am I a good person? Am I a doormat? Do I have any self respect whatsoever? Where is my backbone? Where is my head at? My cousin died in the early hours of the morning. The family are naturally devastated. I had removed myself from my emotions in preparation so I’m actually …
Waiting for the call…
It really is true that everything can change in an instant. This time, 2 days ago, life was plodding on as normal. Now, I’m in bed, talking to you because I can’t sleep. I’m waiting on a call to tell me that my cousin has died. My cousin who 2 days ago was tucked up …
Shrink(ing) Violet 
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