I thought this lock down would provide me with plenty of time to catch up on college work. Remember the time I said that the universe seems to throw hurdles in the way, well, its back at it again. Ive struggled for the last few days to muster any kind of motivation to do my …
Tag Archives: intrusive thoughts
1st try at a poem. Cause the world’s gone to shit and I can’t sleep….
I lay here motionless, Staring at the cornerWhere the ceiling meets the wallsThe clock has long since waved the witching hour goodbye My eyes are heavy from the exhaustion of another dayMy mind, ticking tocking,the mechanics that keep my eyes from closing The rest I crave will not arriveI’ve tried and triedThe medicine won’t let …
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Protected: Hey Ironman. It’s me…
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
At war with myself because of you
My entire life, I’ve been told that I’m the problem.* I was just being oversensitive to my uncles affection. * If I just believed what my friends said instead of fighting against it then they wouldn’t have to hurt me. * I failed college because I was too busy having a good time. (I was …
Grief, loss and isolation
Once you have known the pain of a deep loss, I think it becomes easier to access it. Any future losses feel harder, the pain feels more accessible. It’s somewhere you have ventured before. It’s like trying to navigate to an old friends house. Somewhere you vaguely remember, until you drive closer and things become …
Covid-19, die from it, or because of it, there’s a difference.
Often, isolation comes hand in hand with depression. Isolation can be the cause of depression or a symptom. Depression is a liar. It tricks you into believing lies to make you isolate yourself. The last couple of weeks, I have been going out the bare minimum. Only venturing out of the door for the school …
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Two wrongs don’t make a right?
What am I? Am I a good person? Am I a doormat? Do I have any self respect whatsoever? Where is my backbone? Where is my head at? My cousin died in the early hours of the morning. The family are naturally devastated. I had removed myself from my emotions in preparation so I’m actually …
Waiting for the call…
It really is true that everything can change in an instant. This time, 2 days ago, life was plodding on as normal. Now, I’m in bed, talking to you because I can’t sleep. I’m waiting on a call to tell me that my cousin has died. My cousin who 2 days ago was tucked up …
Dissociation and the emergency services. It needs to change!
I’m not quite sure what to share and what not to share today. I made this blog to help get the thoughts out of my head. I’m torn between being totally honest, sharing the darkest moments and making the blog factual in terms of living with mental illness from a less personal place. I’ll just …
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How bad is bad enough? An insight to baby cut syndrome.
I caved. I gave in to my current greatest urge last night. I just needed to stop the constant thoughts spiraling in my head. I figured if I just do it then it will quieten down. I decided at around 4pm that I was going to do it. I dropped my daughter off with her …
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Shrink(ing) Violet 
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