A blog about mental health, self harm, suicide, grief and trauma. Join me as i explore the inner workings of my brain
Losing someone you love changes you forever. Grief isn’t something you can get over. In fact, it’s one of the things that will never ever leave you. Friends come and go, society changes, careers start and end, but your grief is there through it all. There will always be a before and after. That’s how …
Continue reading “Grief is the one thing that will never ever leave you.”
It doesn’t seem fair that I have to come here just to see you. I stare at that square slab and remember my brother pouring your ashes into the tiny hole as we all wept. It was heart wrenching to see how small you had become, because you were the biggest man I had ever …
I have written this blog over and over and over again. My mind cant make up what it wants to write about. My body tells me not to blog at all. But I want to at the same time. Time. Its not making much sense right now. I’m longing for next week when I can …
Sometimes we can wake up feeling extremely low. We cant find the reason why. We just feel the way we feel. It’s extremely important to listen to our body. Especially when there isn’t a reason for our melancholy. The last few days my mood has dropped. With that has come a torrent of headaches and …
I’ve taken a little hiatus lately. Life has been very different, not being able to live in my house or be on my own. I’ve had appointment after appointment for various things. I’ve been so busy with making it through each day that my mind hasn’t had time to be creative. Anyhow, lately, i’m starting …
I didn’t choose to have mental health issues.I didn’t choose to be abused by others.I didn’t choose my circumstances.For most of my life, choice hasn’t really been an option. Things have been done to me and for me. I’ve lived almost a year with no one controlling me or abusing me and it’s felt alien …
I’m not quite sure what to share and what not to share today. I made this blog to help get the thoughts out of my head. I’m torn between being totally honest, sharing the darkest moments and making the blog factual in terms of living with mental illness from a less personal place. I’ll just …
Continue reading “Dissociation and the emergency services. It needs to change!”
I caved. I gave in to my current greatest urge last night. I just needed to stop the constant thoughts spiraling in my head. I figured if I just do it then it will quieten down. I decided at around 4pm that I was going to do it. I dropped my daughter off with her …
Continue reading “How bad is bad enough? An insight to baby cut syndrome.”
*TRIGGER WARNING for self harm, suicide, drugs and alcohol*********** If you need help in the UK contact the Samaritans on 116 123. Self injury is symbiotic with depression for myself. Its the way I’ve learnt to cope with stress, anxiety, low mood or apathy. I can’t remember the first time I intentionally harmed myself but …
I’m not sure how much longer I can listen to myself. I’m fighting a constant internal battle and I don’t think I will be the victor. The more I fight the more my critic gets louder. Its like two halves of the same entity are fighting to be heard and it’s deafening and exhausting. Its …
Shrink(ing) Violet 
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